funeral for a cousin

My cousin Karen's funeral is on Thursday. She was 34 and died on my husband's birthday.
I already told my boss so that part is taken care of. That's the easy part. Getting up and getting dressed and driving there isn't so bad either. But being there, seeing her parents, seeing her casket, seeing HER in it (if I go up all the way), thats the hard part. And knowing that my uncle Eddie and Aunt Mary will just never ever be the same again is the hardest part. Her obituary is in the paper today. She's back with her baby son Michael in heaven now, but she has kids here too, who will obviously miss her terribly. I'm going to meet my Mom at the funeral home and we'll go in together. My parents know how rough it is too, having had two boys die as infants. God, that even hurts to type it out! Die and infant or baby in the same sentence?!?!
Putting your own child in the ground changes the way you see things, the way you think, the way you breathe and the way your own heart beats. It just changes EVERYTHING.
Karen, You'll be missed and I wish I had seen you in these past ten years. I'll always remember you as young and pretty.