It's something every day..

Today, a new girl at work asked, "What are your kids dressing up as for Halloween"?
*sigh*

She must not know.

So..... I answered, well Brandon will be a bloody skeleton creature. He usually doesn't dress as something gory or scary, but I got the costume on sale last year after halloween and he was ok with it.

I didn't tell her about our boy who isn't here. But I will. She was at the other end of the tables we sit at to take our break, too far for me to blurt out, our other son died just before he was born 9 years ago,so he isn't dressing up in a costume.

Every day it's something. Not something that reminds me, because I am constantly aware of his absence. It's well, I guess something that jabs at my heart. Every DAY.
Brandon doesn't get to Trick or Treat with his brother. He doesn't get to do anything with his brother. Sometimes we go it alone on halloween, which makes me sad. Sometimes he goes with a friend or two, which makes him happy, which in turn , makes me happy. This year, his best friend will spend the night before halloween and go around getting candy with us, and we'll miss our Dylan boy and wish he were here, just like we do every day of every week, of every month, of every year.
PS: We'll be trick or treating with a friend of mine and her son too!